These past few weeks have been very stressful for me. And that has affected my food consumption. I'm still trying to eat healthy, and I always do for breakfast. But most of the time for lunch and dinner, I don't. Because of several reasons like having no time, no motivation, not wanting to be an anti-social person by declining lunch/dinner invites from friends etc. Most of Malaysian eateries are seriously un-healthy. And when I try to eat 'healthy' outside, I end up spending RM20++ PER MEAL, its the same amount of money I spend on local fruits every two weeks. We can never win, can we?
My own experiments on my body have confirmed that, during this four months of eating out with people at an average 4-5 times per week had me gaining so much weight that I have actually started to loathe myself sometimes. Why? Because of my lack of self control. My mentality of having to finish what I eat applies to junk food..And boy, that's my undoing.
I won't be surprised if something were to go wrong with me and my body and the doctor would tell me it's because of my eating habits. History would be repeating itself! I would waste hundreds of fucking ringgit just because I can't turn down an invitation to a mamak, chocolates my friends had offered me or ice-cream that people had bought for me. I dread it everytime but I can't turn it down because I guess in my mind, it's rude?
Would that mean if I were to accept all these food that were offered that would potentially bring me some sort of illness, it would in the end be my own fault? All because I don't want to be rude. Sigh..We all can't win!
So I have concluded that we have to be rude to friends sometimes and not accept that they give us. And by mean we, I mean 'me' because it's my life and this is how I want to be.
Anyways, I'm back in KK now for the holidays, main reason is to pull out my wisdom tooth, which I'll be doing on Valentines day. Yay me. Also, I'm really grateful for Natasha, her papa and her cousin Jessica for taking their time to send me to the airport and to take care of the two cats. I'm used to doing things on my own so I was really touched by the help & care that was shown by this humble family.
My CNY wish this year is to be blessed with a healthy&happy family, blessed with the willingness to be kind to people, have more self-control and stay focused on my goals no matter what.